On this page, we talk about consent.

On this page:

• What consent is
• What is not consent
• Giving your consent
• Asking someone for their consent
• Support for you

Everyone who takes part in a sexual activity should give their consent.

Your partner should respect your decision about:

• if you want to take part in a sexual activity
• where, when and how you want to take part in a sexual activity.

Your partner might be someone like a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Everyone has the right to choose what sexual activities they take part in.

Before a person does anything sexual with someone else, they should:

• ask for the person’s consent
• make sure that they want to give their consent to the other person.

Part of consent includes making sure that everyone:

• wants to do it
• knows they can stop at any time
• understands what they are doing together.

Talking about consent with the people you have a sexual relationship with can make sure:

• your relationships are healthy
• everyone feels safe
• everyone can enjoy sexual activities.

Everyone must give their consent:

• before taking part in sexual activities
• while taking part in sexual activities.

You can change your mind about giving your consent at any time.

And the people you take part in sexual activities with can also change their minds about consent.

This means all sexual activities must stop, even if someone said yes before.

Everyone should ask for consent if they want to:

• kiss someone
• touch someone’s private body parts
• send someone sexual messages, like photos of their private body parts.

Everyone must also give their consent to:

• move from one type of sexual activity to another, like kissing to sexual touching
• not using birth control.

  Birth control can stop you from getting pregnant.

Everyone must also give their consent each time they take part in sexual activities.

Taking part in sexual activities with someone before does not count as consent.

Everyone who takes part in sexual activities with other people needs to have and give consent.

Consent is important in any relationship you have.

This includes any romantic relationship you have with someone.

For example, if you:

• are married
• have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

No matter who the people are in your relationship, there must be consent.

This includes relationships with:

• people with disability
• people without disability
• people with any sexuality.

  Your sexuality includes:

  • who you are attracted to
  • the sexual feelings and thoughts you have
  • the sexual activities you want to do.

There must be consent in the relationships you have with people you:

• are dating
• want to start dating.

There must also be consent in your relationships with anyone that you take part in sexual activities with.

This includes if you:

• only take part in sexual activities with a person sometimes
• want to take part in sexual activities with a friend.

People can do things that other people might enjoy in a sexual way.

But this is not the same as that person giving their consent to take part in sexual activities.

For example, a person is not giving their consent if they:

• flirt with someone
• wear clothes that show parts of their body, like a short skirt.

Someone giving consent to one type of activity does not mean they are giving consent to do other things.

For example, if you say ‘yes’ to kissing, it does not mean you give your consent to do other sexual activities.

And just because someone gave their consent in the past does not mean they have given their consent to sexual activities in the future.

It is important that everyone gives their consent every time they take part in sexual activities.

The first step to giving your consent for sexual activity is to decide if you want to take part or not.

You should think about if you feel:

• safe
• comfortable with where you are
• like you want to take part in this sexual activity.

You should also think about:

• what your body is telling you
• if you might regret doing this later.

You should think about if the person you are taking part in sexual activities with is someone you:

• trust
• want to do this with.

Then if you decide that you want to give your consent, you should use your words.

You can say that you would like to do that sexual activity.

You can also give your consent by moving your body in a clear way.

For example, you can give someone your consent by making eye contact with them and nodding your head.

If you do not want to take part in sexual activities, it is important you communicate this in a clear way.

You can tell the other person that you do not want to.

It is your right to make these decisions about what you want.

Before you ask someone for their content, you must make sure that they are able to give consent.

A person must be a certain age to be able to give their consent to take part in sexual activities.

Each state and territory in Australia has different rules about how old people must be to give their consent.

To give consent, a person must:

• be able to communicate clearly
• understand what they are agreeing to do.

For example, someone who has been drinking alcohol might not be able to give their consent.

If it is unclear if someone is giving their consent, you cannot decide it is consent for them.

Instead you should make sure the other person is okay.

A person might show that they do not want to keep taking part in sexual activities.

For example, they might:

• not make eye contact with you
• seem shocked or scared
• cry or look upset
• not be talking or moving.

You should stop taking part in sexual activities if the other person shows these signs.

You should ask the other person:

• how they are feeling
• if they want to take a break
• if they want to stop
• if they want to do something else.

If someone does not give their consent to take part in a sexual activity, you might feel:

• upset
• annoyed
• angry.

It is okay to feel these things.

When someone does not give their consent, you must respect this decision.

This is the right thing to do.

Before you ask someone for their consent, you might think about what to do if they say no.

For example, you can thank them for being honest about how they feel.

It is never okay to make someone feel bad for not giving their consent.

This includes if someone makes you feel bad for not giving your consent.

You can contact 1800RESPECT for support and counselling.

You can call them.

1800 737 732

You can talk to someone online.

www.1800respect.org.au

You can send them a text message.

0458 737 732

If you send them a text message, you can just send the word ‘HELLO’.