On this page, we talk about how to be safe when you leave a relationship.

For example, a relationship with your:

• partner, like a boyfriend or girlfriend
• friends
• family.

This includes a relationship where you experience violence or abuse.

There is support available if the information on this page upsets you.

You can find out more on our page about support.

On this page:

• Create a plan so you can leave safely
• What to include in your plan
• Who can help you
• Example story

Leaving a relationship where you are experiencing violence or abuse can be:

• scary
• dangerous.

It is important to create a plan so that you:

• can leave safely
• know what to do in an emergency.

  An emergency:

  • is a dangerous situation
  • is a thing we don’t expect to happen
  • can put our health and safety at risk.

You do not have to write this plan down.

Especially if the person using violence or abuse could find it.

You should have the contact information of the people you trust in case you are in an emergency.

For example, your friends or family.

You should have a bag you can take with you quickly.

Your bag could include things like:

• money
• medicine
• important documents, like a passport.

You should think about a safe place you can go after you leave the relationship.

For example, a friend or family member’s house.

If you live with disability, you need to think about how you will get support for your disability after you leave the relationship.

This might be hard if you experience violence or abuse from your carer.

You should think about how you can manage your own money.

This includes:

• opening a bank account only you can use
• finding a job so you can earn more money.

You can find out more on our page about managing your own money.

You might decide to stay in your home after you leave the relationship.

If you do this, you should change the locks on your doors as soon as you can.

You should also think about changing your phone number after you leave the relationship.

This can help stop people you do not want to talk to from contacting you.

It can be hard to leave a relationship, but you do not need to do it on your own.

You can get support from:

• helplines
• support groups
• domestic and family violence shelters.

  Domestic and family violence is when someone close to you hurts you, such as:

  • your partner, like your boyfriend or girlfriend
  • a member of your family
  • someone who takes care of you
  • someone you live with.

They can help you leave a relationship and keep you safe.

You can aksi get legal help.

For example, you can get a protection order against the person who has hurt you.

You can find out more on our page about legal help after experiencing violence or abuse.

We wrote a story to show an example of how someone might leave a relationship.

The story we wrote is about a person called Alma.

The story and the people in it are not real.

We made them up to explain how someone might leave a relationship.

Alma has been living with June.

June often hits Alma.

Alma has decided to leave.

Alma tells her friend about what has been happening.

She leaves a bag with her friend that has:

• her passport
• some clothes
• some of her medicine to last a few days.

Alma also sends photos to her friend that show June’s violence and abuse.

This includes photos of the messages June sends her.

Alma deletes these photos after she sends them to her friend.

One morning when June goes to work, Alma goes to her friend’s house.

At her friend’s house, Alma contacts a domestic and family violence service.

The person Alma speaks to helps her apply for a protection order.

They also find a counselling service she can use.