On this page, we talk about exploring sex if you live with a disability.

We also talk about what you can do if sex is not working for you.

On this page:

• What sex is
• Making sexual activities comfortable for you
• Learning about sexual activities that you enjoy
• Where to find support

Sex includes all sorts of activities where you and another person behave in a sexual way.

For example, sexual touching.

Exploring your own sexuality can be an important part of your life if you want it to be.

You might want to take part in sexual activities with someone you met:

• in person
• on the internet.

You might only want to take part in sexual activities with a person who you are in a relationship with, like your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Or you might want to take part in sexual activities with someone you are dating.

You can find out more on our page about dating.

You might want to take part in sexual activities with a sex worker.

You can also explore your sexuality by yourself.

For example, you can masturbate.

You can find out more on our page about pleasure.

Everyone who takes part in a sexual activity should give their consent.

Everyone should respect your decision about:

• if you want to take part in a sexual activity
• where, when and how you want to take part in a sexual activity.

Everyone has the right to choose what sexual activities they take part in.

You might not want to take part in a sexual activity for lots of reasons.

For example:

• you might not feel like doing it
• it might feel painful for you.

Just because someone gave their consent in the past does not mean they have given their consent to sexual activities in the future.

It is important that everyone gives their consent every time they take part in sexual activities.

You do not need a reason to say no to any sexual activity.

You can find out more on our page about consent.

You can set boundaries with someone about the sexual activities you are comfortable to do.

You can find out more on our page about telling someone what you are comfortable with.

Sexual activities can feel good.

But sexual activities might not make you feel good straight away.

For example, they might feel:

• uncomfortable
• painful.

You might have to try different things to make some sexual activities feel good for you.

You can move your body to where you feel comfortable.

Or use pillows to change how your body is laying.

If you are taking part in sexual activities with someone else, it is a good idea to tell them:

• how you are feeling
• if you feel uncomfortable
• if you want to try something different.

You might not enjoy taking part in a sexual activity because you have an injury.

Or because it is hard to move your body.

You can work with a doctor or a physiotherapist to help you feel better.

Talking to a doctor or a physiotherapist about sexual activities might make you feel:

• embarrassed
• scared.

But it is their job to help you.

And everyone deserves to enjoy taking part in sexual activities if that is what they want.

When you take part in sexual activities, you will learn what you:

• enjoy
• do not enjoy.

You might enjoy taking part in sexual activities with:

• the same person each time
• different people.

There are lots of different sexual activities you can do with someone else.

For example, you can:

• use sex toys
• say sexual things to each other.

You can tell someone what you think you might enjoy.

If you both feel safe, you can try new things with them.

You can also enjoy just:

• kissing someone
• hugging someone.

You might only want to take part in sexual activities by yourself.

You could watch:

• movies that make you feel sexual
• pornography.

  Pornography is photos or videos of:

  • someone’s private body parts
  • people taking part in sexual activities.

You could read or listen to books that:

• are about romance
• make you feel sexual.

It is important to look after yourself when you take part in sexual activities.

You will enjoy them more if you look after your:

• body
• mind
• feelings.

If you are having trouble enjoying sexual activities, you can get support.

You can talk to people who care about you.

For example, your:

• friends
• family
• support workers.

You can get counselling.

You can call a helpline.

Helplines are phone numbers that will connect you to people who:

• care about what you are going through
• can give you good advice.

We have a list of helplines on our website.

You can find out more on our page about helplines.

Some people might think that you should not take part in any sexual activities.

They might tell you that people with disability should not do that.

But you can if you want to.

Lots of people get support to explore:

• their sexuality
• taking part in sexual activities.

You are not alone.

There are many people who can help you.