On this page, we talk about how you can support someone to heal from
Violence or abuse is when someone:
- hurts you
- scares you
- controls you.
There is support available if the information on this page upsets you.
You can find out more on our page about support.
On this page:
Healing after violence or abuse
Someone who has experienced violence or abuse can also experience
Trauma is the way you feel about something bad that happened to you.
For example, you might feel scared or stressed.
Trauma can affect you for a long time.
It is normal to experience trauma because of violence or abuse.
Because of the trauma, the person’s body might also react when:
- something reminds them of the violence or abuse that happened
-
they experience a
A trigger is something that makes you remember or feel your trauma.
For example, seeing a photo of someone who hurt you in the past.
A trigger might make the person feel:
- like the hard experience is happening now
- hot and sweaty
- like their heart is beating too fast.
It is normal for people’s bodies to react:
- when there is danger
- when their body feels that they are in danger, even when there is no danger around.
But it is possible to heal and feel better over time.
How you can help
You can help the person to heal from violence or abuse.
You can tell the person that:
- you believe them
- the violence or abuse is not their fault
- they can share their experiences with you.
You might need to tell them these things many times.
You should try to stay calm around the person who is healing.
When you are calm, you can help the other person stay calm too.
You can tell the person about some exercises that could make them feel better.
For example:
- spending time outside
- breathing deep and slow.
You can find out more about helping someone manage their feelings on the WWDA website.
We have a section on this website for people to go to when they want to feel calmer and happier.
It includes:
- ways to feel calmer
- activities you can do.
You can find out more on our page about calm space.
You can show the person that they are not alone.
For example, you can:
- spend time with them
- support them to make their own choices.
You can also tell the person about anything you do that might affect them.
For example, if you want to contact the police about the violence or abuse.
You might find it hard to understand how the person is feeling.
They might still feel connected to the person who has used the violence or abuse.
Do not try to change the way they feel about this person.
It can be hard to support someone to heal from violence or abuse.
You can also get support.
You can find out more on our page about wellbeing.
It is never your fault if you have experienced the bad behaviour we talk about on this page.
We are sorry that this has happened to you.
The first thing you should do is make sure you are safe.
If you or someone you know is in danger, call Triple Zero.
000
We have a section on this website about how to call Triple Zero.
You can find out more on our page about a guide to call Triple Zero.
You can contact 1800RESPECT for support.
You can call them.
1800 737 732
You can talk to someone online.
You can send them a text message.
0458 737 732
If you send them a text message, you can just send the word ‘HELLO’.
You can leave your partner if this is where you are experiencing the bad behaviour.
For example, your boyfriend or girlfriend.
You can find out more on our page about how to be safe when you leave a relationship.
If you are not ready to leave your partner, you can still make a plan about how to be safe.
You can find out more on our page about when you are not ready to leave a relationship.
You can get support from your friends and family.
It is a good idea to tell them:
- what they can do to help you
- to focus on what you need to feel safe.
You can keep proof of the person’s bad behaviour if it safe for you to do so.
You can give this proof to the police if you decide to contact them.
You can start to manage your own money so you can leave if or when you want to.
You can find out more on our page about managing your own money.
You can share what is happening to a government organisation.
For example, the Australian Human Rights Commission (AHRC).
AHRC is an organisation that makes sure people treat others:
- fairly
- equally.
You can call a helpline.
Helplines are phone numbers that will connect you to people who:
- care about what you are going through
- can give you good advice.
We have a list of helplines on our website.
You can find out more on our page about helplines.
You can work with someone to explore how you think and feel.
This can help you:
- reach goals
- feel safe
- learn skills
- understand what happened to you.
You can find out more on our page about counselling.
You can learn more about the rules about how people must treat you:
- fairly
- equally.
You can find out more on our page about your rights.
You can think about what you can do to care for yourself.
You can find out more on our page about caring for yourself.
You might have experienced the bad behaviour from someone who did a service for you.
For example, from:
- a health professional
- someone who cleaned your house.
You can talk to the person who organises your services if this has happened to you.
