On this page, we talk about how you can support someone who is experiencing
Violence or abuse is when someone:
- hurts you
- scares you
- controls you.
We also explore some thoughts and feelings you might have about what is happening.
There is support available if the information on this page upsets you.
You can find out more on our page about support.
How you might think or feel
You might think or feel different things when you find out someone you know is experiencing violence or abuse.
You might feel that you:
- want to help but do not know how
- have no power to help
- should not get involved
- cannot believe what is happening.
You might also feel:
- scared
- angry
- stressed
- confused.
How to talk to someone experiencing violence or abuse
You should not feel bad about your thoughts or feelings.
But you need to make sure the person experiencing violence or abuse feels safe.
They might already feel:
- embarrassed
- like the violence or abuse is their fault
- like no one will believe them.
You might feel confused that someone would stay in a when there is violence or abuse.
Your relationship with someone is how you are connected to them.
But sometimes leaving is not that easy.
For example, the person using violence or abuse could also be a carer.
Or the person experiencing violence or abuse might be scared that leaving could make things worse.
Just telling someone to leave is not helpful.
And it might make them feel like they cannot talk to you.
You need to be patient with the person.
You should not judge them for not leaving straight away.
What you should not do
You might feel angry about what is happening.
But you should not try to contact the person who is using violence or abuse.
This might be dangerous for you.
Or it might make things worse.
You should not make jokes about the violence or abuse to the person who is experiencing this.
You should also not:
- tell them you do not believe them
- defend the person who is using violence or abuse
- keep asking for information if they do not want to talk.
How to support someone experiencing violence or abuse
You can support the person to talk to someone about what is happening.
You can give the person information about their
Rights are rules about how people must treat you:
- fairly
- equally.
You can find out more on our page about our rights.
You can support the person to look after their wellbeing.
You can find out more on our page about wellbeing.
We have information and resources on this website to help you and the other person get the support you need.
You can find out more on our page about support.
It is never your fault if you have experienced the bad behaviour we talk about on this page.
We are sorry that this has happened to you.
The first thing you should do is make sure you are safe.
If you or someone you know is in danger, call Triple Zero.
000
We have a section on this website about how to call Triple Zero.
You can find out more on our page about a guide to call Triple Zero.
You can contact 1800RESPECT for support.
You can call them.
1800 737 732
You can talk to someone online.
You can send them a text message.
0458 737 732
If you send them a text message, you can just send the word ‘HELLO’.
You can leave your partner if this is where you are experiencing the bad behaviour.
For example, your boyfriend or girlfriend.
You can find out more on our page about how to be safe when you leave a relationship.
If you are not ready to leave your partner, you can still make a plan about how to be safe.
You can find out more on our page about when you are not ready to leave a relationship.
You can get support from your friends and family.
It is a good idea to tell them:
- what they can do to help you
- to focus on what you need to feel safe.
You can keep proof of the person’s bad behaviour if it safe for you to do so.
You can give this proof to the police if you decide to contact them.
You can start to manage your own money so you can leave if or when you want to.
You can find out more on our page about managing your own money.
You can share what is happening to a government organisation.
For example, the Australian Human Rights Commission (AHRC).
AHRC is an organisation that makes sure people treat others:
- fairly
- equally.
You can call a helpline.
Helplines are phone numbers that will connect you to people who:
- care about what you are going through
- can give you good advice.
We have a list of helplines on our website.
You can find out more on our page about helplines.
You can work with someone to explore how you think and feel.
This can help you:
- reach goals
- feel safe
- learn skills
- understand what happened to you.
You can find out more on our page about counselling.
You can learn more about the rules about how people must treat you:
- fairly
- equally.
You can find out more on our page about your rights.
You can think about what you can do to care for yourself.
You can find out more on our page about caring for yourself.
You might have experienced the bad behaviour from someone who did a service for you.
For example, from:
- a health professional
- someone who cleaned your house.
You can talk to the person who organises your services if this has happened to you.
