On this page, we talk about coercive control.

We have information and resources on this website to help you get the support you need.

You can find out more on our page about support.

On this page:

• What coercive control is
• Who can experience coercive control
• What you can do
• Example story

Coercive control is a type of violence or abuse.

Coercive control can make you feel:

• scared
• unsafe
• bad about yourself
• alone.

Coercive control usually happens over time.

Coercive control can be different in every relationship.

You might not even know you are experiencing coercive control.

And people around you also might not know.

We wrote some examples of coercive control to help you understand what it is.

You can skip this section if it upsets you.

A person using coercive control might:

• stop you from seeing people you care about, like your friends and family
• behave in a jealous way
• say you spend too much time with other people.

They might keep track of:

• what you do
• where you go.

If you live together, a person using coercive control might make you take care of the house on your own.

For example, doing all the cooking and cleaning.

A person using coercive control might tell you that you cannot:

• make your own choices because of your disability
• do tasks on your own.

If you have children, a person using coercive control might:

• say you are a bad parent
• say mean things about you when you are with your children
• try to make your children stop liking you.

They might control how you use your money, like:

• how much money you have
• how you spend your money.

A person using coercive control might:

• call you mean names
• make you feel bad about yourself.

They might control your body and your health.

For example:

• how much food you eat
• what medicine you take
• how much exercise you do.

They might control the sex you have, like:

• how often you do sexual activities
• what sexual activities you do.

They might gaslight you.

In Australia, 1 in 4 women have experienced coercive control from a partner.

For example, a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Women with disability are more likely to experience coercive control than other people.

You can experience coercive control from someone close to you.

This includes:

• a partner
• a member of your family
• someone who takes care of you.

You can also experience coercive control from someone you are not close to anymore.

For example, someone you used to be married to.

You have the right to make your own choices about your life.

It is never your fault if you experience coercive control.

And it is important to get support.

There are steps you can take if you have experienced coercive control.

If you decide you want to leave the person, you do not have to do it straight away.

And you do not have to do it all at once.

We have information and resources on this website to help you get the support you need.

You can find out more on our page about support.

You should take care of yourself.

You can find out more on our page about getting the most out of life.

We wrote a story to show an example of coercive control.

The story we wrote is about a person called Avery.

The story and the people in it are not real.

We made them up to explain coercive control.

Avery is very close with their family.

But Avery’s partner does not like them.

Avery’s partner:

• says mean things about their family
• gets angry and stops talking to Avery when they want to visit their family.

Avery’s partner is trying to keep them away from their family.

This makes Avery feel:

• alone
• like they have to rely on him.

Avery is experiencing coercive control from their partner.