On this page, we talk about emotional violence and abuse.

We have information and resources on this website to help you get the support you need.

You can find out more on our page about support.

On this page:

• What emotional violence and abuse is
• How emotional violence and abuse can affect you
• Where emotional violence and abuse can happen
• What you can do
• Example story

Emotional violence and abuse is not just about someone treating you badly one time.

It is something that can happen a lot over a long time.

There are many actions that can be examples of emotional violence and abuse.

For example, if someone:

• yells at you
• says mean things
• calls you names
• ignores you.

Emotional violence and abuse can be when someone makes you feel:

• embarrassed
• guilty.

It can also be when someone threatens you.

For example, they might threaten to hurt:

• you
• your family members
• your pets.

They could also threaten to:

• hurt themselves
• end their own life.

Someone might also threaten to share your private information with people you know.

For example, your:

• medical information
• sexuality.

  Your sexuality includes:

  • who you are attracted to
  • the sexual feelings and thoughts you have
  • the sexual activities you want to do.

Or they could threaten to report you to the government or police.

Emotional violence and abuse can also be when someone tries to make you feel scared.

For example, they might:

• ask you lots of angry questions
• hold a weapon near you, like a knife.

Someone might gaslight you.

Emotional violence and abuse can be very hurtful.

It can make you feel like you:

• are not good enough
• cannot do things by yourself.

Emotional violence or abuse can affect your:

• physical health
• mental health.

It is not okay if someone uses emotional violence or abuse against you.

Everybody deserves to feel safe.

Someone might use your disability to make you feel bad about yourself.

They might say that you are not able to do certain things.

Or they might say that you do not know what is best for you.

This can mean you:

• make decisions you regret
• are not able to live a full life.

And you might stop trusting your own memory.

You might start wondering if something that you remember actually happened.

It can be hard to know if someone is using emotional violence or abuse against you.

Especially if they support you every day.

It is possible to experience emotional violence or abuse from anyone.

This includes:

• someone you know
• a stranger.

It can happen at home.

Or in a public place, like:

• your school
• where you work.

You can even experience emotional violence or abuse from someone who you ask to help you.

Your partner can use emotional violence or abuse against you.

For example, your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Women with disability often experience more emotional violence or abuse than other people.

If you have experienced physical violence or abuse, you might feel:

• confused
• scared
• stressed.

Sometimes, leaving the situation can be hard.

There are steps you can take if you have experienced emotional violence or abuse.

We have information and resources on this website to help you get the support you need.

You can find out more on our page about support.

You should take care of yourself.

You can find out more on our page about getting the most out of life.

We wrote a story to show an example of emotional violence and abuse.

The story we wrote is about a person called Mae.

The story and the people in it are not real.

We made them up to explain emotional violence and abuse.

Mae is at a family party.

She has brought her friend Jo with her.

When Mae is talking to her brother about gardening, Jo says mean things about her.

For example:

‘Mae likes to pretend she knows how to grow plants, but she would kill anything with leaves.’

Jo says this kind of thing all the time.

It makes Mae feel:

• embarrassed
• useless.

This is an example of emotional violence or abuse.