On this page, we talk about how you can support someone who is experiencing
Violence or abuse is when someone:
- hurts you
- scares you
- controls you.
We explain how you can provide support in a safe way.
There is support available if the information on this page upsets you.
You can find out more on our page about support.
How you can support someone in a safe way
There are different ways that you can safely support someone who is experiencing violence or abuse.
You can ask the person to talk to their friends or family about what is happening.
You can tell the person about services they can contact for support.
For example, a helpline.
Helplines are phone numbers that will connect you to people who:
- care about what you are going through
- can give you good advice.
We have a list of helplines on our website.
You can find out more on our page about elplines.
The person might be experiencing violence or abuse from their partner, like a boyfriend or girlfriend.
But the person might not be ready to leave their partner.
You can share information with the person about how they can make a plan to be safe.
You can find out more on our page about when you are not ready to leave a relationship.
You can talk to the person about how they can take control of their money.
You can find out more on our page about managing your own money.
You can help the person think of different ways to become safer from the violence or abuse.
You can also give the person information about their to live without violence or abuse.
Rights are rules about how people must treat you:
- fairly
- equally.
You can find out more on our page about speaking up for yourself.
You can also talk to the person about ways to take care of their wellbeing.
You can find out more on our page about wellbeing.
How you can talk to someone in a safe way
It is a good idea to make sure you are somewhere safe and quiet when you talk to someone experiencing violence or abuse.
If you text them, you should make sure that the person who has hurt them does not check their messages.
You can tell the person experiencing violence or abuse that you:
- care about them
- want to listen to them
- want to support them.
You can let the person know that you are safe to talk to.
But it is also okay if they do not want to share what is happening.
It is also a good idea to tell the person that the violence or abuse is not their fault.
What you should not do
You should never make the person feel like the violence or abuse is their fault.
Sometimes the person using violence or abuse will blame:
- drugs and alcohol
- mental illness.
You should never say that the violence or abuse is okay because of these things.
You should not talk badly about the person using violence or abuse.
You should focus on talking about how you can support the person experiencing violence or abuse.
You might feel confused that someone would stay in a where they experience violence or abuse.
Your relationship with someone is how you are connected to them.
But sometimes leaving is not that easy.
You should never tell someone they should leave.
It is a good idea to support their decisions and help them feel more
When you are confident, you:
- believe in yourself
- know what you can do
- can try new things.
It is never your fault if you have experienced the bad behaviour we talk about on this page.
We are sorry that this has happened to you.
The first thing you should do is make sure you are safe.
If you or someone you know is in danger, call Triple Zero.
000
We have a section on this website about how to call Triple Zero.
You can find out more on our page about a guide to call Triple Zero.
You can contact 1800RESPECT for support.
You can call them.
1800 737 732
You can talk to someone online.
You can send them a text message.
0458 737 732
If you send them a text message, you can just send the word ‘HELLO’.
You can leave your partner if this is where you are experiencing the bad behaviour.
For example, your boyfriend or girlfriend.
You can find out more on our page about how to be safe when you leave a relationship.
If you are not ready to leave your partner, you can still make a plan about how to be safe.
You can find out more on our page about when you are not ready to leave a relationship.
You can get support from your friends and family.
It is a good idea to tell them:
- what they can do to help you
- to focus on what you need to feel safe.
You can keep proof of the person’s bad behaviour if it safe for you to do so.
You can give this proof to the police if you decide to contact them.
You can start to manage your own money so you can leave if or when you want to.
You can find out more on our page about managing your own money.
You can share what is happening to a government organisation.
For example, the Australian Human Rights Commission (AHRC).
AHRC is an organisation that makes sure people treat others:
- fairly
- equally.
You can call a helpline.
Helplines are phone numbers that will connect you to people who:
- care about what you are going through
- can give you good advice.
We have a list of helplines on our website.
You can find out more on our page about helplines.
You can work with someone to explore how you think and feel.
This can help you:
- reach goals
- feel safe
- learn skills
- understand what happened to you.
You can find out more on our page about counselling.
You can learn more about the rules about how people must treat you:
- fairly
- equally.
You can find out more on our page about your rights.
You can think about what you can do to care for yourself.
You can find out more on our page about caring for yourself.
You might have experienced the bad behaviour from someone who did a service for you.
For example, from:
- a health professional
- someone who cleaned your house.
You can talk to the person who organises your services if this has happened to you.
