On this page, we talk about how you can support the person you care for to be safer.

This includes how to support them to be safe from violence or abuse.

There is support available if the information on this page upsets you.

You can find out more on our page about support.

On this page:

• Supporting the person in the right way
• If the person wants to leave their relationship
• If the person wants to stay in their relationship
• How you can support the person to be safer

It can be hard to know what to do if the person you care for is experiencing violence or abuse.

And it can be harder to know how to support them if it is the first time you have had to do it.

You cannot fix everything that has happened.

But you can support the person you care for to be safer.

It is important to make sure you and the person you care for are both safe.

If you think the person you care for is experiencing violence or abuse, you should talk to them in private about it.

If you send them text messages, make sure that the person using violence or abuse will not find them.

Doing this can help keep you both safe.

You should not try to talk to the person who is using violence or abuse.

It can make things worse.

It is better to focus on supporting the person who they hurt.

You should not try to control the person you care for if they are experiencing violence or abuse.

You should aim to support them.

And ask them what they want and need.

You can suggest things they could do.

But you should also:

• ask questions
• listen to what they have to say.

You should tell the person if you want to do something that will affect them.

For example, if you want to tell the police what has been happening.

You can find out more on our page about speaking up for the person you care for.

People can experience violence or abuse in their relationships.

For example, relationships with their:

• partner, like a boyfriend or girlfriend
• friends
• family.

Research shows that people are most at risk when they try to leave a relationship where there is violence or abuse.

You can tell the person with disability you care for that you can support them to leave if they want.

You should only tell them this if you feel comfortable.

We have information on this website about how they can try to be safe when they leave.

You can find out more on our page about how to be safe when you leave a relationship.

Many people think that leaving a relationship where there is violence or abuse is an easy choice to make.

But for some people the decision to leave can be very hard.

People might stay for different reasons.

For example, they might stay because the other person supports them with:

• their day-to-day tasks
• managing their money.

People might stay because they:

• feel alone
• love the person who hurts them
• are scared the violence or abuse will get worse if they leave.

People might also stay in a relationship because they think:

• they did something to cause the violence or abuse
• violence or abuse will happen to them no matter what.

It is important to respect a person’s choice to stay in their relationship.

And you should not tell them that:

• they must leave
• the violence or abuse must not be that bad
• the violence or abuse is their fault.

If a person is not ready to leave, you can still try to support them to be safer.

If you or someone you know is in danger, call Triple Zero.

000

We have a section on this website about how to call Triple Zero.

You can find out more on our page about a guide to call Triple Zero.

You can help the person you care for to find support.

This includes helping them contact:

• someone they trust
• a local support group
• a place where they will be safe from domestic and family violence.

  Domestic and family violence is when someone close to you hurts you, such as:

  • your partner, like your boyfriend or girlfriend
  • a member of your family
  • someone who takes care of you
  • someone you live with.

You can also help the person you care for contact a counselling service.

You can find out more on our page about counselling.

You can support the person you care for to call a helpline.

Helplines are phone numbers that will connect you to people who:

• care about what you are going through
• can give you good advice.

We have a list of helplines on our website.

You can find out more on our page about helplines.

You can support the person who you care for to manage their own money.

This can help them feel better about leaving their relationship if or when they want to.

You can find out more on our page about managing your own money.

Sometimes other carers might be using violence or abuse against the person you care for.

It is important to understand how hard it can be for the person to leave this type of relationship.

You can let them know you will help them think of ways be safer if:

• they want you to help them
• you feel comfortable helping them.

You can support them to learn more about the rules about how people must treat them:

• fairly
• equally.

You can find out more on our page about your rights.

You can support the person to care for themselves.

You can find out more on our page about caring for yourself.

You can support the person who you care for to learn about legal help they can get.

For example, you can support them to learn about protection order.

You can find out more on our page about legal help after experiencing violence or abuse.

You can let the person know that you are safe to talk to.

But it is also okay if they do not want to share what is happening.

You can find out more on our page about talking to the person I care for about violence or abuse.

You can contact the National Disability Abuse and Neglect Hotline.

They can give advice about how to support people with disability who experience violence or abuse.

You can call them.

1800 880 052

You can send them an email.

hotline@workfocus.com