On this page, we talk about what some people think about domestic and family violence.

There is support available if the information on this page upsets you.

You can find out more on our page about support.

On this page:

• What domestic and family violence is
• Who can experience domestic and family violence
• Why domestic and family violence happens
• Relationships with people who use domestic and family violence
• How domestic and family violence affects children
• What to do if you know about domestic and family violence

Domestic and family violence includes all types of violence and abuse.

Some people think it only includes physical violence or abuse.

But this is not true.

For example, it includes sexual violence or abuse.

It includes financial violence and abuse.

It also includes emotional violence and abuse.

But these are just some examples.

There are many types of domestic and family violence.

Some people think that domestic and family violence does not:

• happen often
• affect many people.

But domestic and family violence happens a lot.

In Australia, 1 in 4 women have experienced domestic and family violence from their partner.

People can also experience domestic and family violence from other people they live with.

For example, their friends.

Some people think that domestic and family violence only affects families who do not earn a lot of money.

But domestic and family violence can happen in any family.

It does not matter:

• how much money they make
• where they live
• what their background is
• how old the people in the family are.

Some people think that you can only experience domestic and family violence if your partner is a man.

But you can experience domestic and family violence from someone of any gender.

You can also experience domestic and family violence in any kind of relationship.

For example, from:

• a family member, like your child who has become an adult
• your carer.

Some people think that nice people cannot use domestic and family violence.

But people who use domestic and family violence can seem nice when they are in public.

Some people think that domestic and family violence only happens because people:

• get angry
• lose control.

But using domestic and family violence is a choice that people make.

And they make this choice so they can have control over someone else’s life.

For example, many people who use domestic and family violence:

• do not get angry in other areas of their life, like at work
• do not hurt people outside their family.

Some people think that people who use or experience domestic and family violence are not confident.

It is true that many people who experience domestic and family violence can become less confident over time.

But all kinds of people can use or experience domestic and family violence.

Some people think that domestic and family violence only happens because women make men angry.

But there is no reason for someone to use domestic and family violence.

It does not matter who made who angry.

Some people think that domestic and family violence can happen because there are people who:

• want to get hurt
• should get hurt.

But no one should experience domestic and family violence.

It is never your fault if you do experience it.

Some people think that domestic and family violence only happens in relationships once or twice.

But domestic and family violence usually gets worse if someone stays in the relationship.

Some people think that a person would leave their partner if they were experiencing domestic and family violence.

Or that if a person stays with their partner, then the domestic and family violence must not be too bad.

But it can be unsafe to leave a partner who uses domestic and family violence.

And people might stay in these relationships because they:

• are scared
• are worried about money
• hope that it will get better.

Some people think that many women lie about domestic and family violence.

For example, they might lie about:

• experiencing it in their relationship
• how bad it was.

But it is very rare for women to lie about domestic and family violence.

And often women pretend that the domestic and family violence was not that bad.

Some people think that children do not know when domestic and family violence happens around them.

But most children do know when domestic and family violence is happening.

They might:

• hear it
• see it.

Some people think that children do not experience domestic and family violence.

But people who use domestic and family violence are more likely to hurt their children.

You might care about someone who is experiencing domestic and family violence.

For example, they might be your:

• family member
• friend.

You might think that you can stop the domestic and family violence if you:

• talk to the person using domestic and family violence
• tell them to stop.

But talking to someone using domestic and family violence can be dangerous.

They might hurt:

• you
• the person you care about.

You should focus on supporting the person you care about.

Some people think that domestic and family violence is none of their business.

And they should ignore it if they know about it.

But domestic and family violence is never okay.

Everyone deserves to be safe.

Talking with someone about the domestic and family violence they might be experiencing can make them feel:

• safer
• listened to.

Some people think that you should not speak to someone if you think they are experiencing domestic and family violence.

And you should wait for that person to talk to you first.

But you should not wait to talk to someone if you think they are experiencing domestic and family violence.

People who experience domestic and family violence can feel very afraid.

And feel like they have to keep it a secret.

You can talk to them about what they are experiencing.

And say that you are worried about them.

Talking to them can help them feel:

• comfortable to share what is happening
• less afraid.

You can find out more on our page about how to talk about violence and abuse.